We were drowning
We were baptized into the cursed Atlantic
Where the screams of our ancestors can still be heard
We were dropped in the middle of it and told to stay afloat
We were drowning
Our love was weighed down by the “isms”
The weight of our trauma was too much
I reached out to you because I couldn’t bear to witness
The cold waters extinguish your fire
It hurt way too much to see you sinking
I said, let me be your life jacket
You said the same
Hold on to me
And we clung on to each other
trying to stay afloat in a world neither of us asked to be born in
cursed centuries before we existed,
as soon as the Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria
troubled peaceful waters
I made you believe I could save you
That you needed me
That I could take you away, and that we could sail the azure skies, where I could give you the moon, stars, and everything you deserved
You held onto me for dear life
And as much as I wanted to put on my cape
Take you and fly away to a better place
I forgot that I was sinking too
You know what happens when two drown next to each other
They grasp onto each other,
pulling,
scratching,
dragging,
stepping,
choking
All to get a taste of that life-saving air
They can’t escape each other’s desperate clutches
They become crabs in a barrel
We found ourselves sinking deeper into the shit
We were dying slowly
The weight of the Atlantic was too much
We were foolish to believe that we alone could fight it
When the corpses at the bottom served as a warning
of what happens to people like us
in this damned sea
To be honest, you left some scars that I might never recover from
One day, I’ll find the strength to forgive you
I hope you forgive me
Do you see that I had to let go
To free us from our toxic embrace,
For your sake
and mine
There are no life jackets floating around
There are no buoys insight
There is no lifeguard, no ship looking for us
The home we once knew no longer exists
There is no one out there that is going to save us
The only thing left for us to do is to
Spread out our limbs and flap, swing, stroke
And learn to navigate these waters on our own
Maybe we’ll never get to fly and sail the azure sky
But hopefully, one day
We’ll do much more than float
We’ll learn how to swim
